Running on Emergency Power

So yes. I have survived February. But you know what? It was pretty rough.

I know it’s ironic that someone who goes on about how taking care of your mental health is important went and let herself slip, but there we are. I went off my medication in November because it wasn’t working (I thought). I thought it was just the winter blues. I thought if I ploughed through it would get better. Then February hit, and with it a new wave of job insecurity and I just couldn’t anymore.

So I got help. I went back on my medicine, I dropped back on work projects, and I hunkered down. Now it’s a few weeks back on medicine and a holiday starting this weekend and I think the worst of it has passed and the sun is both metaphorically and literally coming back out. In the meantime in between though, it is very much like running on emergency power. You eat, sleep (somewhat), get dressed and go to work. You try not to be a monster to the people in your life. You have to remember that it DOES get better.

IMG_8609.jpg
Having lunch in the park with some sun does help lift the spirits a bit.

Life does continue on around you in all this, and I’m glad I was dragged out into the public on occasion and made to talk to other humans. Some cool things did still happen. In the lab I got to see a 14,700 year old human skull that they think was used as a ceremonial drinking bowl.  Some days this job is unreal and I love it.

Some more of the things I’ve been working on are finally being made public, and that’s pretty nifty. (Even if the photos of myself are a bit naff.) The cetaceans project is still in progress, though on the back burner to the Toxodon one. Also, they finally put a 3D model of Hope the Blue Whale online! On one hand, working on high visibility projects is an honour and is amazing work. On the other hand, working on high visibility projects is ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING if something goes wrong. And just a behind-the-scenes secret – something will always go wrong. You just have to hope the time you budgeted in for the snafu is enough. And that it doesn’t snow.

And snow it did! The Beast from the East came through Britain and froze everything. Normally it’s just the north that gets the snow dump, but this time around, Colchester and the surrounding East Anglia got an absolute blizzard on and off over four days. Trains were cancelled, buses weren’t running, and grocery stores ran out of random food supplies. It was a wild week, and then just gone by Monday. It felt like being back in Idaho for a bit.

Outside of work, M and I went down to Brighton to visit friends in the month. It was rainy, but it was really cool from what I did see. I’d love to go back in the summer sometime. On the way home we also found a display of Roman remains dug up in a motorway service station, displayed between the toilet entrances and the fast food seating. Truly an English phenomena. Snuck a bit of America in though. Five Guys are opening up in all the major towns and cities here in the UK, and I think I’ve gotten M hooked on the new Colchester one. Bwahaha.

Also in Colchester – did you know that Twinkle Twinkle Little Star was written here? The house is still privately owned, but you can see the plaque on the front of it. That and the Pizza Express down the road has conspicuously themed their restaurant around the rhyme.

IMG_8696.jpg
We may have walked by at like 10 at night, humming the tune like creepers.

If the pizza didn’t give a hint, any plans of my Year of Monthly Challenges hit a complete standstill when Depression snuck up. Snacks were eaten when snacks were offered. Somehow I still managed to lose another 1.8 kg (3.9 lbs), so that’s nice. However, February was survival mode, and March is healing mode, so we’ll just jump back on this 30-Day Challenge Bandwagon in April when I’m a functional human being again.

Anyway, I’m off to see my family and friends in Tennessee for nearly three weeks, and I’m so excited! I imagine that’ll likely be when you hear from me next, so speak soon. 🙂

— Kate

 

Nearly There, Just Missing a Few Boxes.

It has been quite the eventful week! GP visits, packing, paperwork, and really sweaty trains! Where do I begin?

Let’s start with the exciting bit – the house inspection passed and we are officially getting the keys handed over on Friday! We had a rather extensive tour of all the inner working of the house, and learned some cool new facts along the way. I don’t know when I got to the point in life that smooth closing cabinets in the kitchen and built in hair catchers in showers became cool, but it happened at some point. After being taught how radiators work and what not to put down toilets, as well as the useful bits and bobs, we’ve signed off on what will hopefully be some of the last few bits of paperwork before we can move in! Well, ignoring the fact we’ve had to hire movers to get there. That’ll be another 3 forms at least.

Ahh, it was amazing seeing the place at 99% complete! Because I’m a nerd and have nothing better to do on public transport, I even made a little before and after photos between when we last saw the interior in May to now.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Being so close to completion means it was also a week of frantic packing. Unfortunately, that’s where the GP visits cropped up. I’d been poorly on and off all week and didn’t get much sleep. Poor M had to pick up the slack and pack singlehandedly during the workweek, on top of doing his normal 48 hour a week job as well as cart me around for doctor visits. Honestly, I married a saint of a man.

Whatever it is that’s afflicting me, it was mostly contained over the weekend and I managed to get a hefty portion of the house packed whilst M was working the night shift at the hospital. It was a grand team effort, with him building boxes in the evenings before work and me filling them all up while he was asleep. It’s this time of year when we pack up to move every year that I (secretly him as well, a little) contemplate a severely minimalist lifestyle that doesn’t involve ALWAYS having to buy new packing boxes. Honestly, I don’t know if they’re dying at an alarming rate or if our stuff is expanding, or both. It always seems to be a different size that’s gone missing each year too. Moving is fun like that.

As this will hopefully be the last move for awhile, we’re getting movers to help successfully transport everything to the new house without completely scuffing the walls up. I will be eternally grateful to them for moving all the heavy bits in the middle of the summer, especially if the weather decides to give us a heatwave again.

And about that HEAT. Britain is not an island meant for weather above about 27° C. And it hit 33° C this last week. The trains literally started melting the tracks. They were actually buckling. Greater Anglia tried to work with this by moving trains really slowly across them and not running as many trains in general. Of course, the trains they did run were the mostly older stock which have little vent windows and no A/C. How many trains had further delays caused by passengers passing out in the heat inside the carriages is beyond me, but they intentionally cancelled 47 train journeys on the hottest day. This led to some great British sarcasm at work:

DC0ygABW0AAO1eE

At one point Greater Anglia even put up a picture post on their Twitter account (now deleted) with bullet points on how to beat the heat and all that with tips about drinking water and only pulling the emergency handle at the stations. The best tip though? I swear to god they had put on there “Decide if you really need to use the train today.” Yes, because I’m sure loads of London commuters can just call in to work to say it’s too hot. We’ll all take the bus. Honestly.

Thankfully, the lab has been a blissful 22° C for the last two weeks, so I can even enjoy a hot cup of tea in the dead of summer. Unfortunately, I’ve been limited to only one cup a day for two weeks by the GP to settle out the whole upset body dilemma. The first three days I had a raging headache and wanted to sleep on my desk, but it seems to be getting better now. I might even (*cue shock and horror*) consider keeping my caffeine intake lower after all of this. I’m really feeling like I have more overall energy, and I don’t have the constant desire to snack on things. Meh, we’ll see how it all plays out!

What else has happened over the week? Got to walk through the staff portion of a hospital, got my annual dental check up (no cavities!), accidentally walked outside and witnessed the Chelmsford Naked Bike Ride in full swing, and managed to finally kill our shower and am having to revert to baths for the week. Let’s be real – if the letting agency knows we’re moving out Saturday, what are the chances of the shower being fixed before then? In the meantime if you need me, I’ll be hanging out with Rubber Ducky.

Man, it’s going to be a hectic next few weeks, but all filled with very lovely things. After this week we move, then the next week my parents come to visit, then the week after we’ll be taking them down to Tetbury so all the parentals can see each other and enjoy the English countryside. I will attempt to keep up, but I make no promises!

So far, this week is off to a good start, and maybe we’ll even have all of our packing done in time for this move! Wish us luck for the relocation, and I’ll talk to y’all next week! 🙂

 

— Kate

anatomy of a cup of tea

April weather means friends flock together.

Or something like that. Over the last few weeks of March and the beginning of April, it seems the stars all aligned and everyone was able to meet up. And so meet up we did.

First and most far flung award goes to the lovely D, all the way from California! She and I met and became fast friends during our course at the University of Leicester, but sadly she had to go back to America at the end of the year. She’d come back for a week to see friends in both England and Wales, and we were graced with her presence for a few of those days. She swears we only let her stay because she brings us American junk food, but she’s welcome even without the Ranch dressing packets. 🙂 I can’t wait until we get to meet up again next – and hopefully it’ll be because she finally got a museum job here!

IMG_4034
Truly a fashion statement.

Next up we had the kitty couple from Leeds only a few days after D had to leave us for Gatwick. Sadly, the kitties were not in tow with them, but it was still a great weekend out. The sun even made a glorious appearance on Saturday, which was well received regardless of the temperature. Ended up going bowling, which I couldn’t even tell you when I did last! Thankfully, they seemed to know I was coming and had the gutter guards up on our lane. I still managed to lose spectacularly in both rounds. It was all good fun though, and you sure can’t beat those shoes.

To round out our meet ups to a respectable triad over the period, we were back up in Colchester to see M’s old friend Dr and Mrs Anaesthetist and their baby, who is quite possibly the cutest child in Colchester. They were currently working on making the back garden a nice English landscape and not the muddy war zone it looked like when they first moved in. The trellis is nearly complete and it looks like grass will be coming in soon. I imagine it will be more than summer ready soon enough.

Speaking of summer ready, we also did some lurking to see how our house is turning out. We couldn’t see much as they’ve done extensive building on the houses in front of it and the security panelling is still up, but it looked to be coming along nicely. The good Doctor later managed to capture a photo through his walk in the nearby woods, and it looks like everything is right on time. So excited!

IMG_4099
Photo courtesy of Dr Anaesthetist and his ability to find loopholes to the building site rules.

 

The good times can never last forever though, and the significant otter and were quickly back in the daily grind, with the poor thing having to work a weekend on top of it! Of course this meant that Saturday was glorious for having a BBQ. Alas! But hey, we have nice weather and the house is still on time. Can’t ask for too much right? 🙂

 

— Kate

Museum Job! (Autumn 2016)

So that great news I was hinting about last post? Well, after a few months of job hunting and a few interviews that followed, I was offered work at the Natural History Museum in London! Not only was I getting to use my degree, but I was also going back to being able to do 3D surface scanning like I did at my last museum!

I’ve been steady at work on a few different projects, some of which should hopefully be going live in the next few weeks so I can tell you all about them. All I can say for now though is that I am working in an amazing place with fantastic people, and that I have a really, really cool job. Honestly, the commute is worth it to do the things I get to do every day. 🙂

IMG_2308
My home away from home!

— Kate

Moving to Chelmsford (Summer 2016)

Because we are gluttons for punishment, only two weeks after returning to England (and returning to the correct mental time zone) we up and moved from Norwich to Chelmsford. Thankfully we had done all the house hunting beforehand, so it was just a case of packing up boxes and sorting out moving day.

But oh, were there boxes to be packed. Boxes and boxes. I don’t know how we keep expanding with each move, but it’s going to have to be slowed before we lose an entire room of the house to storage. It’s always good fun to figure out how you last packed all your breakables before doing it again. One year I’ll photograph it all as it’s done so I remember. Maybe.

Due to time restraints and lack of willing (and wonderful) bodies to help us move, we hired movers for this round. It’s amazing how much faster a move goes when professionals are involved. A bit harrowing to watch though. M and I opted to take the train down to Chelmsford and sort out the rental paperwork whilst they put everything on the truck under the watchful eye of the in-laws. Keys were handed over in much better time than anticipated, so we ended up just kind of sitting on the floor of our new empty rental and waiting for the truck and parentals to arrive.

Everyone and everything arrived unscathed, apart from a flower vase that I had improperly wrapped. Not too shabby all things considered! With much help from the wonder in-laws, we unpacked the basics of the house and even built some flat pack furniture without too much profanity and blood loss. In a bit of a box fortress, but a functional box fortress, we bid adieu to the family and began to settle in for the year.

The excitement for the week (post-moving) came the next day with the arrival and installation of a dishwasher! We’d gone a year without one, and let me tell you what a luxury one is when you don’t have it anymore. Not only the ease of cleaning, but also having a space to put dirty dishes before washing that doesn’t cram your kitchen counters/sink and stink up the place. Let’s be honest – sometimes the night’s dishes don’t always get washed right after dinner. Especially when your husband has the ability to use every pot and pan in the house for even a mere casserole.

IMG_1008
What a sight for sore eyes.

Within a week we had tackled the majority of the boxes and put the rest into banishment in the loft. With the house looking vaguely child-safe, we had company over with their bright eyed little baby. Putting down a blanket in the back garden, this was a brilliant evening for catching up and having a BBQ. There were copious amounts of food as per usual, and no one burnt any hair off their face or arms, so it rates as a general BBQ success.

IMG_1043
Plus it may have just been an excuse to use the awesome new grill as soon as possible.

At the end of the weekend, we felt pretty much at home. We’d decorated some, we’d tidied, and we even met the neighbours. Oh, and the neighbourhood cats.

IMG_1083

I was back on the internet scouring for work, and M was doing well in his new posting for the year. Chelmsford is infinitely walk-able and I took advantage of this with my time off. By then I was (and still am) a firm slave to my FitBit. I have to say, the city doesn’t have the same charming feel of Norwich, but has everything you could need and is only 35 minutes away from London by train, so it’s a fair trade. All in all, life was good. Now to just find work again. I make a terrible housewife. 😉

— Kate

A job! A job! (Spring 2016)

After many an adventure over the winter months, spring rolled around and finally I found a job. It was temporary work through an agency, but it was a wonderful experience. Unfortunately, the place I was sent to was reorganising and the local branch was being closed down by the end of the summer. Reasonably enough, a lot of the staff were heading elsewhere for permanent positions, so I was brought in to fill the gaps until the bitter end.

You don’t realise just how bleak being unemployed is until you are in the situation. It’s nice for a bit and you catch up on all your sleep and bad tv, but eventually you start to crack. I dunno, I just need to be doing something productive with my time and I’m not a particularly crafty person. I desperately needed to be out and doing something. When this opportunity came up, I was over the moon.

I’m so glad I took the position. The staff were all so friendly and took me under their wing. Even though they were all about to be spread across the city like seeds in the wind, they were all so lovely and kind to the end. It was really like a little family. Also, there was cake nearly every other day with everyone leaving, having birthdays, or doing fundraisers. You can never speak ill of a place with lots of cake. 😉

img_0297

I’m still in touch with a lot of the gals online and am pleased to say that they all appear to be doing really well with themselves. I mean really, I would expect nothing less from those fabulous ladies. 🙂

— Kate

Changing Your Postcode Will Not Change Your Life

I love you all dearly, but we need to talk. I’ve heard from so many friends about how jealous they are about me coming to England and how they wish they could just come over here and travel the country, or even backpack through the whole of Europe. And you know what? That’s fantastic! You should totally do it if your budget and/or constitution can handle it. However, it really bears mentioning that when you do this you cannot expect it to magically make whatever life issues you are having better. This isn’t to say I think anyone is delusional about life at all, but going abroad seems to be a similar trap to losing weight.

“When I get to my goal weight then I’ll be more confident and fall in love.”

“When I’m skinny I’ll go for that job I’ve always dreamt of.”

“When I’m not fat anymore I won’t get depressed so easily.”

Sound familiar? Well, I’ve heard similar things about moving far away from home too. It seems to be a default behaviour that we all fantasize about every now and again – running away from our problems and starting fresh in a new place. And in a way you can. However, you’ve got to face those demons first and learn from what’s making you struggle before you move on to bigger and better things.

Studying or living abroad will not mean that you’ll feel more confident if you’re already mentally beating yourself up. It may even tear you down further before bringing you back up again. Nothing is quite so humbling as realising how other people see your country, regardless of whether or not you’re proud of it. It’s also incredibly difficult at times to be confident that you’ll even manage to stay after the fact when you’ve suddenly got to be better than all the EU or else get (quite literally) deported once your student visa is expired. There’s no going back to mom and dad’s for a few months until you land a job.

Studying or living abroad will also not mean that you’ll suddenly become brave and beautiful and exotic and have people falling in love with you for being foreign. I get this jokingly from a lot of my friends, asking if I’ll find them a British Boyfriend. Ladies, there is no Mr Darcy or some stereotypical man in posh dress waiting to sweep you off your American sneakers. There are men that are anti-America, pro-America, or don’t care, and the only differences you’ll find between the American and British men (and I mean this in the best of joking intentions of course) are that the ones here will sound funny to you (and sometimes hard to understand) and make cultural references to things you don’t get. That’s it. I may be letting the cat out of the bag, but people from other countries are in fact, just people and you should be dating them because you like them as a person and not because they say loo instead of toilet. Dating and falling in love will still be scary, and you won’t get off the hook any easier being somewhere far away and new. Though resorting to genial stereotypical teasing about your respective countries is always a fun perk. 😉

Finally, studying or living abroad will not mean that your depression or anxiety about life will get better. In fact, there will be days when it may just make it worse. Not understanding (and then failing at) societal norms or just having a moment of homesickness is rough. Rougher is having to just barrel through it because you can’t give up and go home. If you can make it through though, I do think this one will help your worldview. It may not make the depression or anxiety go away, but you’ll develop tools on how to better deal with it. Also, SAD lights are your friend when you aren’t seeing the sun enough in the winter. Seriously.

Anyway, I don’t want to rant and ramble at y’all all night, so I’ll keep it brief. Basically, we’re all a little cracked and chipped in this world and nothing will make it better but ourselves. Doesn’t matter where in the world you are.

— Kate

to be gorgeous and high and true and fine and fluffy and moist and sticky and lovely...